INTERACTIONS ON THE INTERNET + A HISTORY LESSON

 

me + Sue circa 2020

This morning on Threads, I entered a conversation about piracy. When I shared something that I've seen A LOT of people share someone came in and told me all the reasons I was wrong for saying what I said. 

My immediately response was to defend myself, but after one response it became clear that this individual was in no way wanting to have a conversation about what she found offensive (a quote I'd used that I've seen others say) or about the original piracy conversation. This person blocked me, which is also great. People should block anyone they dislike or don't wish to see on their social media.  

However, the whole interaction has me thinking. 

This is one of those things on the internet where one person says something and another person immediately comes in with all of their statements about why they are correct without looking at any of the nuance or just immediately intending to talk down to the person they're responding to. In this instance I was quoting that people defending piracy say something like, "what about people in third world countries? They deserve to read too." This person immediately said it is wrong to say third world countries. 

And yes, (history lesson incoming) the phrase is actually archaic as it does not fit the original definition. The original phrases were part of The Three World Model. This came about during the Cold War as a way to tell who was allied with who. The US + allies were known as First World, while the Soviet + allies were Second World, and the remaining countries that were not aligned with either were Third World. These were not economic classifications but rather political.

Over time, Third World became a way to categorize economically poor and non-industrialized countries. In many circles this term is not pejorative and is synonymous with developing countries. In some areas for some scholars, the term developing countries is pejorative and they feel inaccurate. As it denotes that "developed countries" are the ideal when the truth is not there. The terms Global North and Global South were also explored with the connotation that the Global South was made up of economically disadvantaged and developing countries, but this is not accurate as many economically advantaged countries are in the Global South and vice versa.  

The truth is that sweeping generalized terms will never be accurate for everyone or agreed upon for everyone. When I personally talk about countries, I just use the name of the country. If I'm referencing a region, then I reference the region geographically. When I reference what someone else said I quote it, even if it's not the best term. I think it's because of my background in academic writing where individuals know that using direct quotes might mean using offensive words and do not take it to mean that the person writing is okay with those terms. Whereas on the internet, everyone is subjected to some sort of weird critique by every single other person on the internet. 

Anyway, it was just something I was pondering this morning and my personal blog is a good way for me to just sort of talk myself through things as well as share some fun facts with the world! 

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IN WHICH I WRITE A MEMOIR

 

Loki + me

circa 2017

In the course of my life the relationships I've had with men have been tumultuous. I haven't made the best decisions when it came to the men I spent time with or that I allowed to have far more control than they should have in my life. 

I had started writing out these stories as a way to look at my decisions and figure out why I kept falling into this sort of unhealthy trap. I shared a few of these stories, and everyone said, "you should publish this." And so over the past few years, I've been working on these stories; eventually, they'll be published. 

The reason it's taken me years to work on these is that in many of the "chapters" it takes me to a place where I was in unhealthy, often violent, relationships. Although I am in a really good place now, remembering these past incidents does still hurt. I work on it when I am in a good headspace, and I set it aside when I am not. 

That's not to say that every chapter is bad!

I am including non-romantic relationships as well, so the chapters where I talk about my Papaw or my Uncle Ronnie are absolutely delightful. But for the most part the chapters are a little dark. It definitely will not a light read, but it will offer a glimpse inside of someone else's mind and life. That's one of the reasons I love reading memoirs. I think they make us feel less alone, and they give us some kind of understanding about others and the decisions they face. 

It's easy to sit back and judge me for my choices without understanding the situations I was in. We never know another until we walk a mile in their shoes, right? Memoirs afford us that opportunity. 

I will keep everyone updated on when this will come out, and make sure to follow my author pages as well. You can find those links and more HERE!

THAT TIME I TOOK A TRIP WITH MY EX

 

Me in Mexico July 2017

In 2015, my marriage was at the beginning of the end. If I'm honest with myself, it was a marriage that never should have happened. I lost so much of myself, but that's a deeper reflection for another read. (You can read it in my meNoir that comes out in 2025)

By 2017, I had moved out into my own apartment. He was dating the woman he told me I didn't have to worry about because she was "just a friend". My son (that he adopted) was getting ready to start his senior year, and we had (I had) already pre-paid for a four person family vacation to an all inclusive resort in Puerto Vallarta. 

It was suggested to me that I forfeit my ticket so the new girlfriend could attend, which I felt was ludicrous, especially considering that I had paid for the entirety of the trip. I told my ex that I didn't care if he forfeited his seat, but that I was under no circumstances not going to be in Mexico for that week. And so four of us: me, my ex, our son, and our son's best friend headed off to Mexico for a seven days and six nights. 

I spent my days drinking in pools, or on the beach enjoying all of the restaurants and food carts within the resort. Buying crafts from people who were selling them on the beach or in the cutest little market down the street from the resort. I went on excursions and snorkeled by a bird sanctuary island. I went sailing. I rode jet skis. And the majority of it, I did alone.  

I have fond memories of many things about this trip. I think one of the fondest things is that I felt free. It was actually the most me I ever was with my ex. I didn't worry about what I was wearing or how I did my hair or that my tattoos were showing or what he would think if I was drinking margaritas before noon. Even though he was there, I was the one in control of me. It was pivotal for me to know I was going to be okay, better than okay, after ending a decade long relationship. 

It was the start of me finding myself again. And now seven years later, I feel incredibly free and more like the real me than I have felt in many years. I still have moments of doubt and pain and questions, but I think that's normal. 

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WHAT'S IN AN AUTHOR NAME?

 Rhonda Marie...writes books.

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Why would I choose to publish under only my first and middle name? 

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It's because I wish I had gotten rid of the last name that I took of my ex-husband's when I got divorced. The reason I didn't is because it's a huge pain in the ass to change everything over, and I wanted to have the same last name as my son. Now that my relationship with my son is essentially non-existent, this last name is a reminder of everything I gave up in my life. It reminds me of how I spent a decade trying to change myself and be someone I wasn't in order to make others happy. It reminds me of the ignored pleas for things to change. It reminds me of losing my confidence in myself and everything I loved. 

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I believe that I am a good writer, and I think my ideas will be ones that people like. I hope that I will find success through my writing and stories, so I don't want that last name attached to that hope. That last name symbolizes a loss of hope and a loss of confidence. So I dropped it. 

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I have to keep it as my legal name, or get it changed which is wildly expensive to just change a last name! Although it has to be attached to my barrel racing and rodeo dreams, it doesn't have to be attached to my author dreams. And for the barrel racing and rodeo dreams, I look at it as he always told me I couldn't do it...so I will and I'll bring along his last name. He couldn't get that last name to any of the big shows, so I will. ;)

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WRITING A BOOK

 

I've been writing a lot lately, much of it incoherent ramblings that I assume will eventually make sense. 

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The meNoir is coming together nicely, and once I learned to stop censoring myself so I didn't offend anyone it is so cathartic. I'm not sure if anyone really wants to read a meNoir of someone they have never really heard of. But I'm writing this for me, and it's so helpful for me as I work through my feelings. 

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My fiction novel is the one I really worry about. I can see these characters so vividly in my mind; it's like they're real. I worry that I won't do them justice. I feel obligated to them and to tell their story in a way that makes others care as deeply as I do about them. 

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Anyway, I hope y'all follow along here and on my socials (click here) so you can know when these books are coming out! I am super excited about them, and I'm excited to share my writing journey. Excerpts coming on this very blog soon ish! 

A New WIP

 

About a week or so ago, this character popped into my head and he was so vivid and lifelike that I was certain we'd met before. 

We haven't. 

But I have begun bringing his story to life. The untold tale of the real reason the devil was cast out of heaven. A tale of betrayal and love and family and human history. 

I am so so excited to bring this story out and about. I hope that you'll consider signing up to be a beta or ARC reader when the time comes. This is the first time I've felt that a story is clawing its way out of me. And I hope y'all love it as much as I do. 

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